Thursday, 10 October 2013

10October2013 [INFO/TRANS] Reminiscing the saddening past of YuChun before debut. A must-read for a new Chunsa October 10, 2013

Park YuChun, a child who has suffered enough returning to his own country.

YuChun who is full of emotions, always smiling but cries easily, was first place in a poll of “who do you think is flower boy” in Korea. The name on YuChun’s ID card is Park YuCheon. I still prefer Park YuChun. He has a little brother, YuHwan, who is 5 years younger than him.
YuChun who was born in 4th June 1986 in Seoul, Korea, has been very active in sports since he was small. He yearned for Formula One and dreamed of becoming a F1 driver. During elementary school, he was playing games with his friends. He wanted to pluck the fruits on the tree at the nearby park so he and his friends threw stones at the fruits. As as result, he unintentionally hit the head of his friend with the stone. This incident lead to countless problems at that time. Yuchun has learnt Taekwando since he was in first grade in elementary. He fell in love with basketball during third grade and thought of becoming a basketball player too.

During sixth grade of elementary school, he migrated to Virginia of the United States due to his father’s occupation. Micky was the name he used in the US. When going to the US, his friends in the class all said, “Really jealous that your are able to go to US. I am really jealous,” while giving him an envious stare. However, YuChun was very sad because he has to part with his friends. Furthermore, he would have language barrier when he reached US. YuChun felt very uneasy because the voices surrounding him were totally the opposite of his inner thoughts.

The uneasiness became reality in the end. Although he was enrolled into a local middle school in Virginia, due to the language barrier, YuChun was not able to make any new friends and he could not blend into the school well. He would shut himself in his room immediately after coming back from school. The thought of becoming a basketball player previously had totally disappeared. However, a classmate of his invited him to play basketball one day.
“You can play basketball well.”
“Hmm, on average level only..”
“We are short of teammates. Let’s play together with us!”
“Urm.. OK..”

Facing the basketball that he once loved so much, although YuChun hesitated a bit, he still accepted his friend’s invitation. Finally, using this as a turning point, YuChun slowly closing in the gap between him and his classmates.

However, there were some changes in his house unexpectedly. After coming to US, a crack occurred in the relationship between YuChun’s parents and they have decided to divorce. This has caused YuChun to be very heart broken but he could not show his sadness in front of his brother who is still very small at that time. YuChun swore in his heart that he would “never cry in front of his brother” and became very bright and active instead. 

Regarding the situation at that time, YuChun mentioned this in an interview, “Even though I felt so painful until I might die from suffocation, I did not have any solution. It was really suffering. But I could at least prevent my little brother from going through the same thing as me. Thus, I worked to earn money. I have bought a lot of presents for my brother and even fetch him from school. I wanted to instill my own emotions towards my little brother. On another aspect, maybe I wanted to escape from this depression I think.” At that time, it was music that healed YuChun’s soul. 

Music has been healing him, supporting him all along. YuChun started to have feelings towards music was during his forth grade. At that time, he has already saved up some money to buy CD. By the time he migrated to US, the number of his CDs has gone over 1000 pieces. When he was in middle school, he started self-learning music. “However, due to the fact that I do not know how to read the music scores, I had to observe people who were very expert in playing the piano every time I had the chance, observing their technique while playing the piano. But the thought of wanting to really make music, was after I was in middle school. During that time, I thought of going to have a look as long as it was a concert. I had encountered with SM (audition) by chance.” (According to an interview in television show)

YuChun said, “Compared to liking a singer, actually what I liked more was music itself.” On the other hand, he felt that deep down his heart, if he was not able to concentrate in doing something particular, his own existence would lose its meaning. He wanted to break away from himself who could not concentrate properly. He wanted to make singer as his ambition in life. “Although some of the thoughts seemed very childish, I still have the confidence. During elementary school, I was always involved in sports. I was even third degree in black belt in Taekwondo. Thinking aback, the time I was doing sports really exceeded the time I was sitting down. After going to US, until second grade in middle school, I had really given in all my efforts. But one of those days I thought, is it really necessary to become like this? Why must I sit here?” This was his inner voice that he exposed during one of the interviews.

His mother was very supportive of YuChun becoming a singer since the beginning. YuChun was very active in taking part in the auditions, having excellent results for few times. Finally, a staff who was doing task of allocating singers for SM has taken a liking towards him. He became a a trainee after the audition of SM held in the US. All these happened during his second year in high school. Before this YuChun’s feelings of leaving Korea was very suffering but this time coming back to Korea he felt worried too. To distinguished all these uneasiness, he decided to get rid of all his worries, thinking of his own dreams only. There was a friend who participated in the auditions with YuChun but this chingu failed during the final audition in Korea. He could only return to US. Before leaving, he told YuChun, “You must wait for me before I come back! It’s a promise!” “Alright! I get it! I will be waiting for you!” Both of them swore together that they shall use their own hands to achieve their own glory.

Just like what was stated earlier, during his sixth grade in elementary school, YuChun migrated to US with his family. In reality, it was the start of his tragedy. On that piece of unknown land, living his unpeaceful life and he still had to face the parting of his parents. After that, both him and his little brother were left with his mother. Since then, his mother alone was doing part time jobs, everyday working until late at night. During dinner time, both brothers eating cup noodles while watching television. Both of them could not understand English so actually they did not understand the content of the television programme.

The days continued to pass just like that. On this unknown land, his mother has to raise these two children by herself. There was a limit to the pressure that could be bore by his mother. One day, YuChun was awake from his blurry sleep and overheard his mother was on the phone. The person on the other side seemed to be his father. “It’s very suffering.. I’ve reached my limit.. Please, help me..” His mother was crying all along while talking on the phone. At this moment, YuChun’s heart was shattered. His tears flowed out instantly. He have always wanted to become the strength that supports his mother but on the other hand, he was not able to do anything. He felt very heartbroken and regretful. “Mother, what am I supposed to do? Please tell me.” YuChun was screaming out countless times in his heart. Two days later, when her mother was out, the two brother was brought to his father. YuChun was comforting his crying brother while trying very hard to suppress his tears. Even though they had reached his father’s house, his brother, YuHwan still continued to cry. Thus, YuChun secretly hide inside the bathroom to call his mother. After a few ringings, the other side of the phone came through the gentle voice of his mother. But that voice turned into crying instantly. “I’m sorry, YuChun.. Mother is useless. I am truly sorry.” That was the suffer of a mother who was blaming herself for not able to do anything. The words that his mother said were like a knife stabbing YuChun’s heart. He has decided, he would never rely on his mother anymore after this. After being brought over to his father’s place, YuChun’s life was definitely never relaxed before.

He started to do various kinds of work. Building roads, adding petrol in petrol station, cleaning buildings. No matter how exhausting he was he would not want his little brother to suffer more. However, when he was alone, he felt like falling apart from all the uneasy feelings in his heart. Music was his one and only support during this time. After coming back from school and went straight for his part time jobs, he was totally washed out when he reached home by the end of the day. His little happiness was to turn on the “play” key on his CD player. Classics, rock, jazz… He listened to anything. His favourite was the famous song Eric Clapton wrote to commemorate his deceased son, <Tears in Heaven>. The sad lyrics was carved in YuChun’s heart. He felt that he was healed. (It seems that music is able to bring such comforts to people’s soul.) YuChun seemed to be healed by music. He was thinking that if his own songs were able to bring comfort to those who were having troubles… This thought was rooting in his heart unconsciously.

Not long after that, YuChun and SM met like it was destined. YuChun passed the auditions very smoothly, taking his first step in achieving his dreams. However, to become a trainee, YuChun had to return to Korea. This meant that he had to part with his parents and his most beloved brother. This caused YuChun to be very distressed but in his heart the thought of “comforting people with his the music that healed him” had never changed even one second. He swore: “After becoming successful, must live together with family!” In the end he has decided to return to Korea.

On SBS <Ya Shim Man Man> show, YuChun reminisced back his situation then. “When coming back to Korea, the most heart broken thing was none other than leaving my brother in the US. We had a concert in Los Angles and I asked my brother to stay with me but on the day of leaving, my brother’s shoulder was shuddering. He was crying and saying ‘I’m very sad.. I don’t know what to do..’ but I could not do anything at all… Now to me, US is a place that I do not wish to think back and do not wish to go for the second time.” At the end of the talk show, YuChun did not forget to encourage his brother: “YuHwan, leaving you alone behind, I am very sorry. I know that you were crying all this while when we were on the phone. I may looked very strong and eager but YuHwan ah.. Hyung is suffering too.. I will surely work hard and bring you back here.” Tears flowing out from YuChun’s eyes.

YuChun finally brought back his mother and little brother to Korea in 2008, the three of them living together. He has been wearing a bracelet on his hand. It was the first gift from his brother. We knew that until today YuChun is still wearing that bracelet.

Note: YuChun only became trainee not more than three months after returning to Korea from US and debut as the Previous Five Group.

Excerpt from DBSK 7th Anniversary Collection
Author: Satoshi Yamakawa

Source from 允浩说在中啊 @MickyBaidu
Picture credit as tagged
English translated & Shared by ParkYoochunSGFC
(Note from Our translations are best-effort and based from original Chinese writings.  If any mistakes are found, it is unintentional.  Thank you for your understanding.)


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